You are the strangest Buddhist I’ve ever seen.

Why do you say that?

I can’t be the first person to tell you that.

No, I’ve heard it before.

It might be that bottle of whisky I see sitting before you or that .38 snubbie you carry around in your pocket.

Well, it’s best to be prepared, and not all Buddhists are teetotalers.

Don’t you think that’s a contradiction?

A contradiction?

Yeah.

 Very well, I contradict myself.

I am large, and I contain multitudes.