Is the Pope a Catholic?

Pope Francis and Pope Benedict. Getty Images

Yes, indeed he is. And I think he owes us all an apology.

In fact, the Church has apologized. In the year of our Lord 2000, His Holiness Pope Paul II begged forgiveness for, among some other things, the crusades, the Inquisition, the persecution of the Jewish people, and injustice towards women, that’s half the human race, and the forced conversion of indigenous peoples, especially in South America, the African slave trade, the admission that Galileo was right, and for silence during Hitler’s Final Solution. And let us not forget the abomination that is known as limbo. A place where unbaptized babies were sent when they died.

And it doesn’t end there. There have been regrets, a few, for the rape and torture of orphans and other children in church-run schools in almost every country on Earth.

Am I angry? You bet I am. The Church should be roundly condemned for the mayhem it has perpetrated on the human race. Its walls should crumble and fall to the ground.

As far as “Ratso” Ratzinger is concerned, it is a matter of profound indifference to me whether he lives or dies.

The Night I Met Christopher Hitchens

Christopher Hitchens. Photo by the Author

I was at a hotel seminar led by former marine generals. The meeting was about turning a company around. I was one of the employees of the company that needed to be prepared to make a speech, but I was not called on to do so. The seminar was held in one of the large hotel conference rooms. Ballroom A? And there were about 100 people attending.

After the seminar was over, I was heading back to my room when I was approached by a short, plain, middle-aged woman who bore a remarkable resemblance to Madelaine Albright.

She came up to me and I looked down at her upcast eyes which seemed to be imploring me to do something. She begged me to come back to her room with her.

“I’m so all alone,” she said. It seemed as if we already knew each other and had had an affair in the past.

At the same time Madeleine and I were talking, I was approached by another individual who turned out to be Christopher Hitchens. He gave me a bear hug.

“I lost a dear friend last night old boy,” he said.

“Died?” I asked.

“No, he passed out with drink,” Christopher smiled.

“Where are you going now?” I asked his receding figure.

“I am going to the bar for a double scotch, old boy.”

“OK, I’ll meet you there later.”

“I hope you have more to say than you did at the meeting earlier tonight.” Then he was gone.

I looked back at Madeleine and told her I was very sorry, but I couldn’t be with her tonight. That I had to talk to Christopher.

Just then the dog barked, and I woke up.

Gideon the Dog. Photo by the Author