A Play

Characters: 

Fred, moderator

Jane Draper, Mothers Against Mayhem

Peter Steele, The National Rifle Association.

Place: Television Studio: Fox News

Time: Now

Lights up to dim. Jane Draper and Peter Steele are sitting in chairs opposite each other center stage. They are in silhouette. Lights up to full-on Fred stage right at a lectern.

FRED

Good evening, ladies, and gentlemen, and welcome to another edition of Point-Counterpoint where issues of national importance are debated on stage in front of a live audience. At the end of the show, we will take a poll to see which side was persuasive enough to earn your vote.

The topic of tonight’s show: Gun Control. It is brought to you by our sponsor Colt Manufacturing, proud manufacturer of the AR-15, when you absolutely, positively have to kill everyone in the room. Accept no substitutes.

Our guests tonight are Jane Draper, president of Mothers Against Mayhem, or MAM. Yes, Mam! Who will argue that we need stricter gun laws or gun control if you will? And on the other side of the issue is Peter Steele, vice president of the National Rifle Association.

And now, let’s meet our panel for another rousing edition of Point-Counterpoint. Leading off our debate tonight will be Peter Steele.

Lights fade on Fred and come up on Jane and Peter who are positioned center stage in chairs facing each other. 

PETER

Thank you, Fred. I would just like to say at the outset that our position over at the National Rifle

Association is that the right to keep and bear arms is protected and enshrined by the Second Amendment of the United States Constitution and that every American, every American! Should own and carry a firearm. Our motto is that God created man and Samuel Colt made him equal. I will give up my gun when you pry it from my cold dead hands.

   JANE

Well, that’s a good place to start, Peter, because a close reading of the Second Amendment references the right to keep and bear arms in order to maintain a well-regulated militia. Emphasis on “well regulated.” It doesn’t say a thing about arming all Americans.

PETER

Well, Jane, you are obviously not well-versed in the law because if you were you would remember the case of Heller, in District of Columbia v. Heller. In 2008, the conservative majority of the Supreme Court,  in an opinion written by arch-conservative Justice Antonin Scalia, decided that “a well-regulated Militia” was merely “prefatory” language.

                                                                                     JANE

Yes, I am familiar with that case. Justice John Paul Stevens, who dissented, called it “unquestionably the most clearly incorrect decision” of his lifetime.

                                                                                     PETER

Well, we’re going to have to agree to disagree on that one, Janey, because in our view it was rightly decided and is the law of the land.

                                                                                     JANE

I could disagree with you more, but I don’t see how.  The Supreme Court has made us all a little less safe with that ruling. The problem, dear Peter, is that there are too many guns in the hands of Americans. Did you know that the leading cause of death of children in this country is gun violence? Not drowning, not car accidents, but gun violence! And don’t call me Janey.

                                                                                     PETER

Ok, Jane, or Miss Draper, or whatever you prefer to be called. The Second Amendment not only gives Americans the right to bear arms, but it also creates equality for women! Guns are the great equalizer. What do you think about that? Why, I would dare say guns give women more equality than the entire feminist movement.

                                                                                     JANE

You can call me Jane, but I wish you would keep your condescension down to a dull roar. We are both adults here and I would appreciate being treated with a little respect.

                                                                                     PETER

I will treat you with the respect you deserve, Jane!

                                                                                     JANE

Well, that’s just ridiculous! The Second Amendment doesn’t make women equal. That would be the Equal Rights Amendment. That is what we need. Let’s replace the Second Amendment with the ERA. Burn bras, not bridges!

                                                                                     PETER

Don’t get carried away, there, Jane. Let’s put things into perspective, shall we?  It’s not guns that kill people. It’s people who kill people. A gun is just an object. A tool for use. It is private property. And we all have the right to own private property, don’t we? We shouldn’t infringe on law-abiding citizens’ rights to own property. It’s a delicate balance we have to strike as we dance between safety and individual freedom. Man has a God-given right to defend himself!

JANE

Let’s get back on topic, shall we? I think it’s sad we live in a world where we have not outgrown our need for guns to settle our differences. Why haven’t we outgrown that? Why haven’t we outgrown our dependency on guns? Maybe we just need to exercise a little common sense. What we need are common-sense gun laws. Look! Nobody is talking about taking away your guns. You act as if you are being emasculated or something. 

                                                                                     PETER

There you go again. Listen, Joe Biden’s constant efforts to gut the Second Amendment will not usher in safety for Americans. Instead, it will only embolden criminals. Criminals are not going to obey the law. That’s why they are called criminals! The NRA will continue our fight for self-defense laws. Rest assured, we will never bow down, we will never retreat, and we will never apologize for championing the selfdefense rights of law-abiding Americans. 

                                                                                     JANE

In any given year in the United States, more than 120,000 Americans are shot in murders, assaults, suicides, and suicide attempts. Unintentional shootings, or police actions. Of these, 35,00 result in deaths. Over 17,000 of those injured or killed are children and teens. On average, 34 people in America are murdered on account of gun violence every day.

The United States is a global outlier when it comes to gun violence. The number of firearms available to Americans is estimated to be about 310 million. Americans own nearly half of the 650 million civilians owned guns in the world today. Americans own the most guns per person in the world. The number 2 country is Yemen. Yemen for Christ’s sake! They have 54 guns per 100. We are at 88 guns owned per 100. We have 5 percent of the world’s population but hold 31 percent of global mass shootings.  Gun homicide rates are 25 times higher in the United States than in any other developed country. The United States has one of the highest rates of death by firearms in the developed world. Americans are 51 times more likely to be killed by gunfire than people in the United Kingdom.

PETER

Look, Jane, guns are needed for self-defense. If you took away all the guns only criminals would have guns. Criminals and the police. Lord help you if you ever needed a policeman in a life-and-death situation. When seconds count a policeman is only minutes away. We have the right to stand our ground! And having a gun is our only means of self-protection.

                                                                                     JANE

We love our guns more than we love our children in this country. The Second Amendment is cherished more than public safety. It makes no sense! We have 352 million guns in circulation in this country. More guns than people. More guns than common sense. Your so-called “stand your ground” laws are a license to kill. What happened to due process? What gives you the right to be a judge, jury, and executioner?  

PETER

When seconds count you don’t have time for the due process. If I feel threatened, if my life is on the line or that of my family, I am going to stand my ground! 

JANE

Don’t you realize your hostile, loudmouth, hyperventilating, knuckle-dragging posturing only reinforces negative stereotypes about gun owners? Can’t we reason together to come up with common-sense gun laws that will satisfy both sides?

PETER

Well, what do you have in mind, Jane? Do you have a proposal we can maybe talk about? Something we sink our teeth into?    

JANE

Yeah!  What about gun shows? Why can you buy a gun at a gun show without a background check? We need to close the “gun show loophole” to keep guns out of the hands of the wrong people.         

PETER

Because you’re gullible, that’s why. There is no such thing as a “gun show loophole.” The dealer you’re buying a gun from at a gun show is running the same background check as he does in his shop. He is  using the same form. There is no “gun show loophole,” Jane! And anybody who says any different is a goddamn liar! 

JANE

Well, that’s a red herring, Peter! We are not talking about dealers. We are talking about private owners transferring weapons to each other.

                                                                                     PETER

Which they have every right to do!

                                                                                     JANE

I know! That is what I’m trying to get changed! 97 percent of Americans support background checks for all firearms sales. 70 percent back “red flag” laws.

                                                                                     PETER

What’s a “red flag” law?

                                                                                     JANE

Don’t play dumb with me. You know perfectly well what a “red flag” law is.

                                                                                     PETER

I know. I just wanted to see if you knew.

                                                                                     JANE

Red flag laws enable authorities to confiscate guns from people found to be a threat to public safety.

                                                                                     PETER

And just who is supposed to decide who is a threat to public safety?

JANE Doctors, psychiatrists…the mental health community.

                                                                                     PETER

That’s not good enough Jane! You can’t take guns out of the hands of law-abiding citizens without due process.

                                                                                     JANE

Oh, now you want to talk about due process! That’s just insane! I can cite you case after case of mass shootings in America, and some very recently, where the perpetrator had a history of mental illness.

PETER

That may be so, but that just goes to prove the point that people are to blame for mass shootings, not guns! Your radical gun control agenda will do nothing to prevent attacks by demented and disturbed individuals.

                                                                                     JANE

There’s nothing radical about common sense gun laws, background checks, and closing loopholes. We can protect innocent Americans from senseless gun violence while still protecting the constitutional rights that citizens enjoy for hunting and self-defense.

                                                                                     PETER

Look! I have no problem with vigorous background checks when it comes to firearms if we do the same thing when it comes to immigration, Voter ID, and candidates running for office.

JANE

At last! Some common ground!  And speaking of mass shootings, most are committed with a militarystyle assault rifle. We are talking about the AR-15, which we, The Mothers Against Mayhem are against. We want these weapons of mass destruction banned. No one needs a military assault rifle to defend themselves on the streets of America. It is absurd! You can’t hunt with them. Their only purpose is to kill human beings in the quickest most efficient and destructive way possible.

PETER

What ho! Now just hold on there a dog gone minute little missy! I beg to differ! I think that is a little bit small-minded of you.

                                                                                     JANE

Small minded?

                                                                                     PETER

Yes. Because without them ranchers would be completely defenseless against varmints. Blaming the gun for what’s happening in America is small-minded. In rural Colorado for instance an AR-15 is the gun of choice for killing raccoons before they get to our chickens. It is the gun of choice for killing a fox, it is a gun that you use to control predators on your ranch, on your farm, on your property. Preventing chicken deaths…That’s what I’m talking about!

               JANE

Chicken deaths? What about the deaths of over 11,000 humans last year alone, including 400 teenagers and 71 children? Americans have the right to feel safe in their homes, on the street, in theaters, and at the grocery store. Children should be safe at school, which should be the safest place of all instead of   having to participate in active shooter drills. In Dayton Ohio, 10 people were killed in a bar while in Texas a shooter killed 22 in a Walmart store. This is insanity and it must stop! We need stricter gun laws!

                                                                                     PETER

The number one city in America with the strictest gun laws is Chicago. And number one in murder and gang violence. If gun control actually worked, Chicago would look like Mayberry RFD. Democrats should ask themselves why every major city they’ve run for decades is plagued by violence despite having some of the most draconian gun laws in the nation.

JANE

Please learn some of the stats on Chicago before coming in here and just repeating your prepared talking points. Chicago’s massive gun violence is because all the guns are purchased legally in red states like Indiana and then brought across the border illegally into Chicago.

PETER

Please! That is a myth! The origin of most guns is untraceable.

                                                                                     JANE

Republicans are the first to pounce on crime spikes while never acknowledging that the dismantling of reasonable regulations is responsible for the spiraling spikes in the first fucking place. And hundreds of millions of gun sales later, gun deaths have reached an all-time high. 

The Supreme Court decided long ago that your right to free expression stops at the tip of the other guy’s nose. You have the right to own a car but you don’t have the right to drive it a hundred miles an hour on the wrong side of the road.  You have the right to own a gun, but just as the state requires you to have a license to drive a car, to be of a certain age, and to demonstrate competency with driving skills and regard for public safety, the state can place reasonable limits on ownership of guns.

Only some kind of fascist would regard gun ownership as a higher priority than public safety. Can’t we have a reasonable conversation on what we can do to prevent the next mass shooting?

                                                                                     PETER

Well, yes, we could do that, but I take exception to the premise of your statement.  Using the word fascist the way you did clearly shows you don’t know what you are talking about!  Because in fascism, public safety outweighs the rights of the individuals. Mass shootings are caused by criminals who disregard the law. All you want to do is create more laws but offer no real solutions that will be effective legally speaking.

                                                                                     JANE

Gun laws alone cannot solve the problem. But gun laws will make a difference. There may be no single answer, but we must do what we can. Sitting on the sidelines is not an option when our children are being killed daily. We are facing public health crises of monumental proportions and attention must be                                                                                  JANE (CONT.)

paid! We need to act now to enact sensible common sense gun laws. The definition of insanity is to keep doing the same over again and expecting a different result. Failure to act will result in a failure to protect the innocent lives of countless Americans! For, God’s sake, how much more carnage are we willing to accept?  How many more innocent American lives must be taken before we say, “Enough is enough!”

PETER

We already have plenty of gun laws on the books. They need to be enforced. We have mandatory minimum sentences for criminals using guns and many states allow sentencing enhancements for crimes involving firearms. These laws need to be enforced! If you want to pass a law how about one that will allow those with concealed carry permits be allowed to carry their weapons into other states? If you want to prevent school shootings why not arm teachers and give them training? The best way to stop a bad guy with a gun is with a good guy with a gun. Why do you want to trample on my rights and leave me defenseless? If I give up my guns, do you think the bloods and crips will give up theirs?

                                                                                     JANE

Calm down there Peter, you are liable to have a stroke.

                                                                                     PETER

You cannot imagine the enormity of the fucks I do not give!

                                                                                     JANE

You know, I’d like to challenge you to a battle of wits, but I see that you are unarmed.

                                                                                     PETER

Unarmed? Unarmed? Why, I’ll show you who’s unarmed.

                                                                                     JANE

Peter, you pathetic little man!

                                                                                     PETER

Jane, you ignorant slut!

PETER reaches for his firearm holstered under his arm. At the same time, JANE reaches inside her purse and pulls out a .25 automatic. They both point and shoot simultaneously. There is an explosion of sound and the acrid smell of cordite.

Blackout. 

The end.